Worthy
by caitycaterpillar
Summary: Nobody ever said that sealing a soul into an inanimate object wouldn't have side effects. In anime, sentient weapons were always cool but Rin never in his wildest dreams thought he'd ever get to see what it was like to be one.


**Worthy**

* * *

 **NOTE: this is a work completely on its own. It isn't a sequel of If They Every Should Meet.**

* * *

The world as Rin knew it died the moment Shirou stacked the sword onto his duffle bag.

The sheath and beads on the pommel clicked as they hit his shoulder. Rin knew the exact moment it made contact with him because his muscles suddenly seized, his body erupting in a wash of blue-white light. The only sound he managed to get out before the change overcame him was a small, strangled gasp.

Father Fujimoto shouted in alarm as his son's and the sword's forms suddenly became amorphous, melding together like stretched playdough. Cell phone and bag clatter to the floor; both ignored in favor of the newly formed blade. Identical to its predecessor except for the black color of the blade and beads. Fujimoto's hands hesitated above the faintly glowing sword, entirely unsure of how to proceed. The Paladin had an idea of what had just happened but he wasn't sure if he wanted to get the fact confirmed. There were texts going back nearly three centuries telling of exorcists' experiments in bonding souls to objects in hopes of creating the ultimate weapon against evil. But Rin's soul was only split-! This shouldn't have happened!

Conversely, Rin had no idea what was going on. He desperately tried to keep calm but it was proving easier said than done; he had no idea what was happening. One minute he had been trying to squash the growing panic of being _thrown away_ -! And then… then he was hovering in the middle of- of a big bluish space? But no. That couldn't be right. He was lying on the floor in the back room of the church, the old man was looking down at him with wide eyes. Rin looked down at his hands and then proceeded to freak out.

 _How_ was he looking down for his hands? He was lying on the floor! He shouldn't be able to simply look down and see his palms. He hadn't even sat up.

What was happening? Rin cradled his head, still looking up at Shirou. The old man seemed to be saying something but he couldn't hear it. Rin closed his eyes. It didn't change anything; he could still see. The old man shouted something at him, reaching out, _down_ , to touch him. Fingers brushed woven blue strands and something rose up around Rin. Shirou didn't feel right. He didn't fit, he was not _worthy,_ his presence grated against Rin's. Rin didn't know what it was that was about Shirou that was asking permission from him but the answer was no. The blue space rebelled. 'No, no, _no_

 _NO!'_ it screeched.

Fujimoto reared back, fingers bright red. All around Rin, his blue-white world crackled and popped with blue sparks. An intense feeling of revulsion washed over him like a wave and he wanted to hurl. He shuddered and curled up tight; the him on the other side, the outside, burst into tiny blue flames.

He did not. Want. To be touched. Not again. Not by Shirou.

"-alm down, Rin. I won't. I won't touch you again just, please, calm down." Shirou was saying. Dimly, Rin was aware that the ground underneath the- the outside him was becoming charred. He supposed that was bad but he didn't know how to stop it.

"Rin, _please_ , can you hear me? I need you to respond. Rin! C'mon, son, do your old man a favor and give me a sign."

Rin shook his head and tried to calm the fire-sparks still going off around him. He didn't know what to make of their appearance in his dull little world Inside but he wanted them gone.

The sparks spluttered out and died. The old man cheered, his smile not reaching his eyes. He did not touch though and Rin was grateful.

"O-old man?" Rin asked into the vast, blue nothingness. He doesn't know if the sound reaches the Outside. As it was, his voice had an echo-y feel to it. "Old man, what the hell?"

Outside, Shirou crouched low over him, his hovering awkwardly in the air. After a moment he reached for the bag the sword had been in before. Rin called out to him again but the man didn't respond. Rin… wasn't entirely sure Father Fujimoto could hear him.

It doesn't stop him from trying in hopes that he did, though.

He shouted and shouted at the old man rushed about the room, completing the hasty pack-up he had started. Things were locked away and the bag he had given Rin slung over his shoulder. Rin watched as Shirou picked up the phone, looking as if he was tempted to use it before a crash sounded from outside the room. Cursing, the exorcist stuffed the phone into his pocket and snagged the carry bag the sword had lied on in the drawer. He folded it twice before picking Rin up with it, the excess cloth was wound again and again to create more distance.

Rin's chest heaved at the initial touch and Shirou flinched (' _was he in pain?'_ _Rin wondered_ ) but as more layers were added they both settled.

The teen could do nothing as he was hefted into the air and rushed out the room. He would have protested, was sure he had for a moment, but the breath is stolen from him as they passed the mirror coated-wardrobes in the back.

There's only one figure reflected where there should be two.

Only Shirou in his black coat carrying a bag over one shoulder, a katana hand.

Confusion dashed with a little fear washed over him. The blue world of Inside sparked and it was reflected as tiny flames jump over the black blade. Rin briefly wondered, a little hysterically, if he was having a breakdown.

"Calm down, Rin. Everything's going to be okay." Shirou assured him.

But it wasn't, Rin thought as Shiratori burst in through the main door and attacked the old man. Everything was _not_ okay.

He could do nothing as the- the demon attacked his father. Creatures of all shapes and sizes take shots at the exorcist even as he battles with their leader. Shirou still looked as if he was beating them back with hardly a sweat.

Even when he was obviously stressed, he was damn cool, Rin thought.

Soon everything is over and more people rush into the building. Clearing and cleaning what was left of the fight. A few tried to touch Rin. He burnt them all.

Those that came in, that tried to pick him up, looked at him like something for them to own. It was repulsive. It was frightening. Rin would _not_ go to be subjected to being a katana in some random exorcist's belt.

He hadn't been sure what it was exactly about those people that caused the thing in his chest to curl its metaphorical lip in displeasure. There was just always something undesirable about them. It doesn't take more than a few tries before Rin realizes he can spot them… the _unworthy_ before they even touch him.

All he has to do is watch their fire.

The fire that burned, a little translucently, in the chest of every person Rin focused too long on. The balls of fire never come in the same color or shape but there is something almost appetizing about them he realizes. Granted it might be because he had been locked in the world of Inside for just over two days now and he realizes that he's starting to feel the strain of it.

Aside from looking particularly edible, Rin was able to tell what type of person whoever touched him was by feeling their fire. The globes of fire that felt of _energy-human-self_ and whatever were their greatest trait. Those that were too weak-willed, too easily cowed, too malicious or plain frail were rejected immediately. The brave were considered for a second later before being rejected and the kind a second longer than that.

None were right. Nobody passed Rin's internal test of Self.

Not even Yukio.

Rin had watched his brother approach him with high spirits. The younger Okumura looked resolute: his back straight, shoulders squared, stride full of intent. He greeted Rin as if he could hear the reply and his presence brought comfort to his brother's world. Rin had missed his brother immensely and couldn't wait for his brother to be Judged by the blue of the Inside. To hopefully go back to normal.

Those hopes die a violent death when Yukio's touch revealed a Self of _Anger._

Yukio's fire burns with the ever-simmering heat of anger. It boils just under a layer of kindness and calm, constantly threatening to break free. Of _burning_ all that gets into its way. Rin was horrified at its presence, of the resentment spawned from it.

The blue Inside spat angrily at its presence.

Yukio had reared back, stung. He retreated with a look of resigned sadness and Rin _wished_ he could hear his apologies. His brother reassured him anyway. Telling him that it had been okay. That he would watch over any of the other exorcists that tried to pick him up.

And there were plenty of people willing to try.

Yukio became Rin's pillar of strength as more and more exorcists flocked to him. Those moments simultaneously became the times he both hated and craved the most. Exorcists would force their horrible Fires of Self onto him and he would struggle under it but-!

But it was also the only times when he saw his family. Even if it was for a few minutes at a time.

Through the walls and as they waited to be Judged, Rin listened to them chatter. _'A Demon Weapon,'_ they'd whisper, _'the first new one in years!' 'Who will wield it? It already has access to Satan's Fire. Imagine the power!' 'I don't know but whoever it is, is a lucky bastard. I'd love to have it.' 'Remind me, what's the blade's called again?' 'The Kurikara man, the koma sword.' 'Ha! Might as well be Excalibur. Our very own Sword in the Vault.'_

It itched that they never called him by his name anymore. The koma sword, Kurikara, Excalibur, _it._ As the days stretched, it felt as if more and more people forgot that he was human- had been human.

The vault door shut closed behind the last exorcist to try and the thick bars of the lock _clunked_ into place. When he and Shirou had been running from that demon, Astaroth, Rin had been worried about being sent away from True Cross. Sitting alone in some safe in the bowls of the city, he wondered if that might have been better.

The loneliness and isolation were like a physical press down onto his soul and Rin struggled to keep it together. Inside his blue world, he curled tightly in on himself even as he watched the door. He wished someone, _anyone_ , would come and save him. Here in the vault, where he had nothing but his thoughts to keep him company, he can't help but come up with different scenarios. To go over past conversations and memories and think of ways that he could have done better.

In the dark among the halberds, naginata, and guns, it's hard not to feel abandoned. _Forgotten_. The tight ball of _anxiety-dread-grief_ that had settled into his breast feels like an iron weight. It's pretty successful in crushing his hopes the longer he waits in the pitch.

Dimly, Rin wondered if this was punishment for all his sins. If God had decided that he had had enough of Rin's short temper, his crude mouth, and constant fights. Something dies a little more in his chest and Rin curls tighter.

He's so hungry.

* * *

Yukine wasn't entirely sure _when_ exactly it started but lately, Yato had been acting decidedly weird. He had been looking off into the distance, towards True Cross, for pretty much the entire day and Yukine was sick of it.

"Okay, stop." He slid in into Yato's line of view. "What the hell are you staring at?"

The god was supposed to be sweeping the front of Kofuku's place but had started to stare off into the distance a couple minutes ago, now he just stood with the broom lax in his hand and the most complicated expression Yukine had ever seen.

"Huh?" Yato jolted and focussed onto the shinki. "Sorry, what?"

Yukine felt irritation bubble up somewhere underneath his throat but pushed it down and tried for a more controlled response.

He grabbed the broom out of Yato's lax grip and waved it threateningly in his face.

"What's going on with you?" he groused. "You've been staring off at the same thing for hours now. What the hell is it that's got you so distracted?"

"Ah," Yato muttered, his eyes drifting away from Yukine and back to that spot in the distance. He sounded distracted.

"I don't actually know what it is," He said, "but for a while now, something has been calling me."

"Calling you?" Yukine echoed and looked in the same direction. If you tried hard enough, you could just about see the faint outline of True Cross Academy.

"Yeah, but I can't really make out any words." He tilted his head and hummed thoughtfully. "You know… it actually kind of sounds like a shinki should."

Yukine's brows shot to his hairline. "Like a shinki? How so?"

"Hmm." Yato closed his eyes and crossed his arms. His head stayed tilted and it gave off the impression of somebody trying to listen for something. "I guess- I guess it's like when you're in your pocket dimension and talking to me?"

He shook his head, shaking off the sound only he could hear.

"It's weird." He said. "It sounds like somebody speaking from a pocket dimension but that can't be right. I mean, how is it that somebody is able to send long distance messages as a regalia? Or _like_ a regalia?"

Yukine eyed the direction his god was staring into. He was fairly certain that nothing good would come from this but he's found that the calls that make it to Yato are often from the people most in need of them.

"You think its maybe somebody praying to you?" he asked, not really sure what to do when Yato stilled. His god turned to look at him contemplatively.

"Maybe? I mean it could be? But no," he muttered, almost to himself, "it feels more like a general broadcast than anything else. Like those, ' _if anybody is listening'_ kind of prayers."

Yukine hummed and then moved away. "C'mon, let's get going."

Yato snapped out of his daze and stared at Yukine with a raised brow, "Going? Going where?"

The Hafuri rolled his eyes and gestured vaguely.

"To where ever it is that person is. You're obviously thinking of going so we might as well get started while the sun is still up," he explained. "I don't want to be caught in the night again. Especially that close to True Cross; the demons there are excessive."

Yato grinned, bright and excited. He bounced a little, adjusting his scarf as he sidled up next to his guidepost. The teen sighed at the barely concealed enthusiasm. As much as he hated to admit it, Yato loved the thrill of the fight and demons proved to be a challenge for them. They didn't cut like ayakashi did; they always traveled in obscenely large groups and often had to be hacked to bits before they died.

Yato said it was because Yukine's blades weren't meant for the souls of the denizens of Gehenna. Yukine didn't really care either way. Demons were often more trouble than they were worth.

* * *

Yato didn't bother with the barrier he felt around True Cross. The lord of Time had put it there as a deterrent for demons over a certain level, nothing but tiny pests were supposed to be able to slip through. As a god, he scoffed at it. Calamity though he may be, he was still holy in nature.

The light from his jump through space cleared to show them standing within what looked like a weapons stash. At his side, Yukine stiffened and grabbed hold of his tracksuit jacket.

"What the hell, Yato?" his guidepost muttered and eyed a pair of scimitars hanging near his head. "Where are we?"

The god's eyes roved around the room as he sought out the source of the voice. It had gone silent the moment they arrived but he didn't doubt that he would be able to spot it. Even in a crowd, a god would always be able to find the person that prayed for them and this was just a different sort of crowd.

"Looks like we're in the exorcists' weapon vault." He said absently and began to walk towards a locked door near the back. He ignored Yukine's surprised hiss and touched the wood. Hmm. In here huh? " _Come,"_ he ordered, _"Sekki._ "

A bell tolled and Yukine shot into his open hands. Sekki's naked blades settled comfortably into his grip. The god eyed the markings on the door, an alarm, for a second before deciding. One internal ' _fuck it'_ later and energy was gathering at the tips of Sekki's larger blade.

" _H-hey wait, Yato!"_ Yukine shouted, even as his god used Rend on the door. The alarm immediately sounded and Yukine wrapped his bandages tightly around Yato's wrist in reprimand. _"I told you to wait!"_

The god ignored his shinki's rant in favor for examining the katana on the stand. He vaguely registered as the doors to the vault slammed open and bullets rained down on him.

He wasn't worried.

As expected, Yukine came to his rescue and erected a Barrier with a yelp. Bullets slammed into the ethereal wall before dropping to the ground. Some bright spark saw fit to throw a knife at him the moment the barrier was dropped but Sekki's bandages caught it well before it could do any damage. Another called for a stop and Yato cast a brief look over his shoulder to see the Paladin pushing his way to the front.

" _Yato…"_ Yukine whispered for his god's ears only. Yato could feel his anxiety rising but it didn't hurt. Yukine wouldn't willingly allow his emotions to Sting him anymore.

"It's fine." He told his Hafuri. "Let me handle this. Just watch my back for me."

Yukine settled just in time for the Paladin to speak.

"Name yourself." The man ordered gun held loosely at his side. There was a haired woman beside him with a sword that stank of demon looking like she was itching for a fight. The bespectacled teen sidling up to the front looked near murderous too though, so Yato supposed he would have to split his attention evenly between the three. "Who are you that you have broken into the Knights of the True Cross' headquarters?"

"Well," Yato turned slightly, never fully facing away from the sword, "I am the god Yato. Perhaps you've heard of me? I run a very successful delivery service, after all." He grinned at the incredulous huff that he got from the fiery-haired woman. The teen exorcist's gun clicked as he turned the safety off.

As expected, the mention of his holy origins sent a ripple through the gathered crowd of humans. Some scoffed at him, ha! a _minor_ _delivery_ god, while others shifted uneasily, a delivery god, yes, but one with twin blades and a shinki capable of high-level spells _._ The Paladin stayed calm though, going so far as to rub his chin. He looked thoughtful. After a moment his face lit up in recognition:

"Ah, I remember you now!" he cackled before leaning forward to grin at the god. "What is the _Amagiri no Mikoto_ doing here in our weapons vault?" he mused.

Almost immediately the exorcists fell into a shocked silence. Yukine preened, pleased that they were recognized, even as the tension in the room skyrocketed.

' _Concentrate, Yukine.'_ Yato scolded quietly and the shinki grinned abashedly before readying himself. Power gathered at his fingertips in anticipation for the attack. There was none though as the Paladin spoke again.

"Now, I don't know what we have in here that would attract the Heaven Splitter but considering you have a Hafuri in your possession I can't imagine you would want any of our weapons."

Yato scoffed. "Oh, don't worry, I'm not here for any of your sad excuses for weapons. Those useless clumps of metal would never compare to my kid." His eyes drifted to the sword, ignoring the bristling exorcists. "Though I'm pretty sure you know what I'm here for:

It's not often that a Demon Weapon is so poorly treated that a god has to step in, after all."

"Nii-san would never call a Calamity here!" the bespectacled boy snapped angrily. Yato noted the familial pronoun and pushed on.

"Oh, he didn't ask for me specifically." He said easily. "I was just the first to answer the call. Though, if you wanted to wait for Bishamonten I could gladly call her for you."

The sword's little brother growled inarticulately but held himself back as the Paladin held up a hand. Hold.

Yukine whispered confusedly into his ear and Yato answered his guidepost with a promise of _'later'._

"You leave him alone!" Little Brother pointed a gun at his head. "Don't you dare touch him. He's fine. He doesn't need your help. If you even _think_ of touching him I'll blow your fingers off."

Yato wasn't listening anymore. Yukine would guard him while he took care of what he came here for. Little Brother could _try_ and shoot him; he wouldn't get far.

"Sekki," he muttered, "Put up a Barrier. Keep them busy."

" _Do you think I should Revert? I can use my spells and your hands will be free."_

Yato rolled the thought around, pondering on it before he acquiesced. Bells tolled and the blond put up a Barrier before the exorcists could react.

"Fuck off." The Hafuri told them, "Yato's got stuff to do."

Yato smiled indulgently at his guidepost's crude mouth. The exorcists were obviously less welcoming but now that they knew who they were dealing with there was significantly less bloodthirst. Nobody wanted to anger He Who Rends Heaven and his blessed _Hafuri_ vessel.

Yato gently brushed the pommel of the Demon Weapon. The fibers heated but didn't burn. The god thought that he felt surprise emanate from the blade and put a little more effort into becoming more receptive to his emotions.

"Who are you, little one, that you called to me from all the way across the city?" he asked softly and closed his eyes. Little Brother was actively shooting at him now but Yukine's lessons with Kazuma were paying off. The battle went on ignored as the god worked.

 _!,_ the sword stuttered before a rush of emotion shot up Yato's fingers. _Desperation! Loneliness, Grief, Hope, Heartache! PanicPanicPanic!_ _HopeDesperationFearThirst_ _ **Hunger**_ -

Yato cut himself off from the sudden rush of feelings. Well, he thought as he cradled his fingers, that was depressing. It was beyond sad that the kid in the sword had been left alone in weapon form long enough that he had been broken down into _that_.

"Shhhh." He crooned at the child-in-the-sword. "Calm down. Your wish has been heard. Tell me your Name." he asked of the child. "Tell me and I will be able to free you from the binds of your own power."

The child in the Demon Weapon hesitated for a brief moment before whispering his answer. It was small, weak and underfed, but carried clearly enough. Yato nodded. After that, the next part was easy. He'd done something similar a thousand times before. Almost every day, in fact.

" _Come,_ " the god intoned, _"Rin!"_

There was no bell but the flash of light was familiar. Little Brother stopped shooting and a moment later a gaunt teenager about Yukine's age fell into Yato's arms. The shinki in question took one look at the dark-haired boy before turning to snarl at the dumbstruck exorcists. Righteous fury writ across his entire body.

"What the hell did you bastards do to him?!"

"Nothing! We haven't done anything to him!"

"Oh, yeah? So then why does he look like he hasn't eaten in days?"

"…"

"Holy- _are you jackasses serious?! What the hell's wrong with you!_ "

Yato winced at the uncomfortable prickle of his Hafuri's anger but paid it no mind. Instead, he focused on feeding energy into the half-conscious Demon Weapon in his arms. He would get him some proper food later but for now, some essence would have to do. Without anything to keep him going, Yato feared that the raven-haired Weapon's organs would start to shut down.

It was honestly a surprise that he lasted this long regardless. Demon Weapons could go for much longer without food or water while in weapon form but, in that form, they then needed the energy generated from souls to survive. Their preferred meal of tainted souls could keep them going for a few days but they could go on pure essence if they were forced to.

Which is what it looked like Rin had done.

He must have fed off the excess energy of all of the exorcists that came to visit him. He wouldn't have had been able to get all that much, maybe a mouthful each time, but it had kept him alive. Yato supposed that he must have begun to broadcast once he subconsciously realized that those mouthfuls weren't going to be enough anymore.

"How long were you locked into your sword?" he asked the teen even as he ran a glowing hand through his matted hair. Rin shuddered and leaned into the touch.

"D'nno." He slurred tiredly. "A week? Maybe two? Can' r'member. Got a bit fuzzy once they put me 'n here. 'm _hungry._ "

Yato's heart stuttered and arms stiffened, almost immediately incensed. The air crackled with the force of his anger. _Two weeks._ The arguments in the background stuttered and ground to a halt. Suddenly aware that something was Not Right with the Heaven Splitter.

"Tell me your wish," he asked the teen. He was hoping for something more along the lines of vengeance (as much as he hated to admit it) but he would do just about anything this kid told him at the moment. He just wanted to _help_ in whatever way he could. Hopefully by getting him _away_ from these awful exorcists.

Rin looked up tiredly and met Yato's eyes with his own. The god felt it when the Demon Weapon looked past him into his soul and allowed it. It didn't take long. Evidently, Rin approved of what he saw in Yato's black-blue soul.

"I don't want t' go back to sittin' in a vault," Rin whispered, his eyes began to droop as the last of his energy waned. "I _won't_. Even if… even if I find somebody Worthy. I don't want to be a sword."

"Alright. I can do that." Yato agreed, not caring that the teen had already dropped off into exhaustion. He stood up, taking Rin with him. "Yukine! We're leaving!"

The shinki nodded, spitting once in the direction of the outraged exorcists. The blond tucked himself under Yato's arm even as the god turned to address the Paladin.

"Shirou Fujimoto," he called out to the man, "I've come here today to fix a mistake of yours." He narrowed his eyes and looked briefly to the teen at the Paladin's side. "Don't mess up again or the next time we meet won't be on as amiable terms."

He knew that the man was only allowing them to leave because he didn't _truly_ want to stop them but still the man's inaction irritated him. Rin could have died in this vault and it looked like Little Brother had been the only one who would have cared. Speaking of…

Yato flicked a card at the teen who caught it deftly. "Call me." he told the teen, "I'll update you on his progress. Allow any of your friends to see that number and you get nothing."

He didn't wait for a reply and disappeared in a flash of light. The trio appearing back at Kofuku's a second later.

Yato hoisted Rin into the air as Yukine rushed into the building, calling for help. They had a sick Demon Weapon on their hands that they had to nurse back to health. Once he was back on his feet, he could make his own decisions: go back to the exorcists or not.

Until then, they would care for him. Getting back into shape would be easy, teaching him of the new world he had tumbled head first into a little less so. Yukine would probably be able to give him tips on transforming and if not, he would at least provide him with a sparring partner.

So long as it kept him out of the exorcist's weapons' vault Yato didn't care what they had to do.

"Your wish has been received. We'll take care of you until you're strong enough to do it on your own." he murmured absently at the teen, locking the contract in place. They had an agreement now, one between mortal and the divine. There would be nothing to stop him from helping Rin now. Not even nosy exorcists, no matter how much they protested.

Daikoku rushed out of the building and spirited Rin out of his arms. Yato sighed and scrubbed a hand through his hair. It might be a while before Rin was truly free of the shackles of his powers but that was fine. They had time.

Fin.

* * *

 **Guess who's ignoring all of her other obligations to cater to annoying plot bunnies?** _ **I am!**_

 **I've got three novels to read for my English lit exam and a Linguistics test to study for but do you think I've been doing that? Ha, no.**

 **Anyway, I stole a lot of lore from the** _ **Soul Eater**_ **fandom. It kinda sparked from the idea of 'what happened if Rin turned into a sword like a shinki!' and then spiraled downward from there because he's obviously a demon and therefore needs to be a** _ **Demon Weapon**_ **. I'm overall pretty pleased with how it turned out though.**

 **PS:** _ **Amagiri no Mikoto**_ **is a really fucking cool name in Japanese but a pain to translate into English. He Who Rends Heaven is too long to write every time so I took the liberty of butchering it slightly and settled for Heaven Splitter. Lol, me and my mad naming skillz.**

 **PPS: I wrote like I was possessed with this. Two days of straight writing. One for the actual writing and another for the edit. I'm honestly surprised with myself.**

 **PPS: Take note: Yukine is literally my fav.**

 **Either way, leave a favorite or review if you enjoyed! I always like to hear from you guys.**


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